Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
