I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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