HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
