I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
