You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
