is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
