So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
