yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
