the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
