hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
