I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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