Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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