Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
