we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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