Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
