Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
