Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
