This is not my ceiling
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Randomize
