So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
