He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
