Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
honey bunches of taint.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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