i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
