just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
