I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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