K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
