i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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