do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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