Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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