Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
