Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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