I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
