Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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