Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
