So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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