Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
