Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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