We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Less talking, more tequila
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
