We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
