You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
