you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
