we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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