So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
