I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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