My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
