Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
