I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
