Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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