'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
