I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
