my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
