He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize